Seizures and Strength

Hi Everybody, Sorry I haven't been around much these last few days. I've been in hospital since Sunday afternoon. Was rushed in with a prolonged and serious seizure, over 10 minutes. Thankfully Jake called the ambulance and they took me in and I was admitted, stayed until I was discharged today.

This is the lovely Jake, by the way, who looks after me immensely well, and stayed at my hospital bedside for 52 solid hours, until the hospital staff finally kicked him out. Everyone was amazed by his devotion and amazing strength.

I have tonic-clonic seizures, which means I feel light-headed and dizzy for a short time before the seizure, which starts with me losing conciousness for a few seconds, all my muscles tense up and I usually fall down or fall off what I'm sitting on. This is the tonic phase of the fit. Then comes the longer, more violent part of the seizure, whereupon I convulse uncontrollably, and sometimes I wet myself, bite my tongue or the inside of my cheeks. As you can imagine these fits are quite scary for anyone standing by. This is the clonic phase. After I stop fitting, I remain unresponsive, drowsy, disorientated and confused for 10-30 minutes. I loose the memory of about an hour or two before the seizure and usually have a pretty bad headache too.

So the hospital did a bunch of blood tests, a head CT, and an MRI scan, and they all seem fine, which is really good. But I've been diagnosed with non-epileptic attack disorder, there's no cure its just treated by avoiding triggers like stress and busy situations.

Daily Encouragement

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.”

Strength is really important when handling M.E. Particularly emotional strength. Nobody else can do this for you, you have to learn to be strong for yourself, as people will inevitably let you down. Strength isn't about bearing under the strain of this illness, it's about learning to accept that you can't do it all, but not being beaten by inability to carry out tasks. I used to get really frustrated when I couldn't finish a puzzle, or make a cup of tea, or do up my buttons. I would scream out “I'M SO USELESS!!” and break down into tears. Now I am learning to be strong and graceful, and when I can't do something, I try to say “Maybe I can try a bit later, or tomorrow.”
Be strong guys, I love you all! xxxx© Alice Daley 2012