The Perils of Insomnia (gorillas come at night)

My Gorilla keeps me up at night, it’s his favourite time to play. He pours boiling acid onto my skin, so that it itches and burns me, he stuffs cotton wool into my head so I can’t think clearly enough to deal with the racing thoughts that clatter through my brain. Sometimes, he lays next to me in the bed, making me uncomfortable by shifting and wriggling and fidgeting around. Sometimes I let him take the bed and take the chair, because it can be more comfortable like that.

But the worst is when he gets tired too, and then he gets really angry. He starts squeezing my chest and pounding my head with his giant powerful firsts, and sometimes will full on shake me violently for minutes on end. I can’t seem to knock my gorilla out with sleeping medications, or if I do manage to knock him out, he sleeps on top of me for most of the next morning, so I am unable to even wake up properly until after lunchtime.

I try to distract myself from him sometimes, by writing or drawing or reading, but sometimes I’m too tired and in too much pain to even think or do anything, I just have to lie there, silently sobbing until the agony finally subsides enough to let me pass out for a few hours.

It doesn’t help that my gorilla needs me to take frequent naps throughout the day, which means it doesn’t let me sleep at night as much. I’ve tried to cut out these daytime naps but then my gorilla gets super grumpy and doesn’t let me do anything for the remainder of the day, until I get a chance to sleep. On days after I’ve not had a nap the day before, my gorilla follows me around closely, sometimes making me carry his entire weight on my shoulders, until I am in crippling agony and utterly exhausted.

Do you have any insomnia tips or hints? I’ve tried most of the conventional ‘have a milky drink,’ or ‘turn off all digital devices an hour before you go to bed,’ ideas and none of them seem to work for me as of yet, but hopefully once my pain is under better control, I’ll be able to get some decent shut eye.

Alley-Cat
xxxx

You don’t have to be healthy to lead a fulfilling and successful life. You don’t have to put your dreams to rest because you are ill or disabled. They may be simply on hold, until the time comes when it is right to achieve them. In the meantime, quit waiting- be inspired by new dreams and ambitions, and work towards them with the grit and determination I know you have. Your life is not over, simply different. Let a new way of life begin and embrace it- live each day as fully as you can, and always be thankful for at least one thing a day.

©Alice Daley 2014